Poems, Prayers, and Promises

My very first blog. I think what is in order is a list. I don't neccesarrily enjoy lists, follow them, or even pay much attention to them when I have them, but this one I must pay attention to. There is no choice. I am 32 years old and enough is enough! I have to much to be thankful for and I vow today to write every single day about something I am thankful for and taking a moment to reflect on that. There may be days that I miss due to not being around but I will make up for them the next time I sit down and type. Most people might think it may be the time of year that inspires me to take this vow but it is not. It is actually a song by John Denver called "Poems, Prayers, and Promises". Now anyone that knows anything about John Denver knows he passed away quite unexpectdly in a plane crash in 1997. This song is all about John talking about his life and how he has enjoyed it though there is so much more to go. I really don't think he thought he would die so suddenly. He must have thought as we all do that there was so many more days to come. But, in his lyrics you can tell that if he did anything in those years he was talking about, John lived. He lived without fear. He lived without feeling sorry for himself all the time (though I am sure like all of us he had his moments). He lived in the present and not in the past. In short, he LIVED. So when he arrived in heaven I can see him thinking "Uh Oh, what happened?" But regret at how he lived his life, no way! Or at least his lyrics suggest otherwise. So as I was driving along listening to this song I realized that it needed to stop. All the years of feeling sorry for myself, craving attention by feeling sorry for myself, lecturing others to be strong and then doing the opposite was going to STOP NOW! The end. Who knows how many more days I have on this planet. I am surely not going to waste them feeling sorry for myself anymore! So about that list. When I feel that I have accomplished one I will share the news and how I have accomplised it. I will also share every day something I am thankful for. There is something every day. Even on our worse days that we must recognize and hold in our hearts. I believe those are the gifts that we are given by a higher power to keep us going. The light in the far off house proimising shelter and warmth that keeps us trudging through the mud, uphill in a rainstorm so to speak just to reach it. Today, I am thankful for the gift of that song. I am grateful that I picked it up to take with me on my journey. I am grateful that John was given the gift of song and that I grew up listening to those songs. I am grateful that my mother loved John so much that she played his music all the time so I became a fan myself. I am grateful for his lyrics which have given me resolve to do what I needed to do for so long. And now the list.

1. I will stop feeling sorry for myself.
2. I will stop being scared of just about everything. I mean I am the woman who grew up on a farm, drove all sorts of huge tractors and equipment, fed and reared hogs that weighed upwards of 300 pounds each, and helped rear cattle that weighed way more then that.
3. I will everyday write about one thing that I am grateful for.
4. I will stop wasting time feeling badly for myself.
5. I will show more kindness to everyone in my life.
6. I will try to solve my problems myself and stop trying to solve them with other things. (This one will make more sense as I continue this blog.)
7. I will laugh more. I have two crazy kids that I homeschool. I am sure I can find something to laugh about.;)
8. I will take more walks. I am in the English countryside. I NEED to walk more.
9. I will make a list of places I want to visit here, hook up the GPS, and go.
10. I will be more grateful, every single day, for every day that I am given!

Poems, Prayers, and Promises
by John Denver
Ive been lately thinking
About my lifestime
All the things Ive done
And how its been
And I cant help believing
In my own mind
I know Im gonna hate to see it end
Iveseen a lot of sunshine
Slept out in the rain
Spent a night or two all on my own
Ive known my ladys pleasures
Had myself some friends
And spenta time or two in my own home
And I have to say it now
Its been a goodlife all in all
Its really fine
To have a chance to hang around
And liethere by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and myold lady
Sit and pass the pipe around
And talk of poems and prayersand promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long its been since yesterday
And what about tomorrow
And what about our dreams
And all the memories we share
The days they pass so quickly now
Nights are seldom long
And time around me whispers when its cold
The changes somehow frighten me
Still I have to smile
It turns me on to think of growing old
Forthough my lifes been good to me
Theres still so much to do
So many things my mind has never known
Id like to raise a family
Id like to sailaway
And dance across the mountains on the moon
I have to say it now
Its been a good life all in all
Its really fine
To have the chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around
And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
Howlong its been since yesterday
What about tomorrow
What about ourdreams
And all the memories we share