Part of my journey in learning to be grateful has been finding God again. They just both seemed to have gone hand in hand. I have been "saved" as a lot of Christians refer to accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. I truly believe without a shadow of a doubt that God wanted me to come to him again. I have received many "messages" to this effect but none as bold as what happened to me yesterday. I have long suffered form depression. IT comes and it goes and it seems to have reared its ugly head stronger and with more frequency since we have moved to England. There are many things I can blame it on, the long dark winter, the absence of sunlight, the list can go on and on and on. At the core though, the problem lies with me. All of my family members have dealt with depression or are prone to it. I have found that if I fully rely on God though he can help me through even my darkest hours. Yesterday, this was completely affirmed. I was at the library looking through the free book section and I happened upon a book my Corrie Ten Boom. Jason had to read her biography for a curriculum he had been using and I read it as well. Corrie was a very brave woman who helped Jews hide during WWII. She even went to a concentration camp (for her actions) where her sister and father died. I saw the authors name on the book and picked it up. I loved her biography, surely I would love this book. I really didn't read the cover or peruse the inside until I climbed into bed last night to have a look at the books I had selected. I was delighted to see that the book was a collection of daily inspirations written by Ten Boom and supported by scripture. Then I opened it up and right on the inside cover, written in red ink some time ago was this message:
I hope you will find strength in these messages. They have spoken to my heart and my needs these last 2 years and maybe you are at the low point where I was when I begin to read these.
There were also dates that the message writer wanted the reader to concentrate on. The funny thing is my name, or nickname, is Jenny. I was flabbergasted. I read and reread this message over and over again. I do not believe for one second that it was purely a coincidence that this message was in this book. I do not believe that it was a coincidence that I picked this book up. I believe God placed it there for me to find. I do believe with all my hear that he was sending me a message. That I must always find my strength in him and fully rely on him for everything. I am still in shock over this. God is such an awesome God!